Hanging Out At The Hood House
by Red Witch
Summary: The sequel to 'Insults in Cartoon Form' finds out what happens when some X-Men take refuge at the Brotherhood House! Besides insanity, Scott losing it and destruction of property.
1. Welcome To The Brotherhood Hotel

**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men characters in any form has taken off somewhere to hide out. I got this idea shortly after writing 'Insults in Cartoon Form'. Let's face it. Some fics just write themselves! So this crazy little multi-chapter fic is a sequel to that! So go read that first if you haven't. **

**Hanging Out at The Hood House**

**Chapter I: Welcome To The Brotherhood Hotel**

"IT'S THE INVASION! IT'S THE INVASION! THE ENEMY IS AT OUR VERY DOORSTEPS!" Pyro screamed as he ran around with his flamethrowers and a small missile launcher.

"Pyro, the enemy isn't invading," Wanda yawned as she trudged down for breakfast. "Cyclops is staying the night because Jean kicked him out because of that stupid cartoon show."

"I know **that,**" Pyro rolled his eyes. "I'm talking about the pineapple invasion! The pineapples are outside our door and preparing to take over the planet!"

Wanda looked outside the kitchen window and saw dozens of pineapples in the back yard. Some of them had little helmets on. "Oh yeah. So they are. Well Pyro you'd better get going."

"Right! CHARGE!" Pyro screamed and soon the sounds of him blowing up the produce were heard.

"Morning Sis," Pietro walked in yawning. "I see Pyro's up."

"You set up all that stuff in the back yard again last night didn't you?" Wanda asked as she took out some toast.

"Well it is that time of the month," Pietro yawned. "You know when he gets unusually hyper. It takes so little to make him happy. Let him blow up some pineapples and make him think he's a big hero and for a few days he'll be nice and quiet."

"TAKE THAT FOUL FRUIT! HA HA HA HA!" Pyro cackled. "BURN BABY BURN!"

"I gotta admit, It's cheaper than Prozac," Wanda shrugged.

"Morning!" Todd hopped in with Fred and Lance behind him.

"So did you guys sleep all right?" Pietro asked, mostly out of curiosity.

"I slept great," Todd nodded. "Even with Summers sharing my bed. But he does make these weird whimpering sounds. And I don't think he really enjoyed my unrated puppet show of Desperate Housewives. Still it was nice to have someone to talk to."

"You think we should have told him about the guest room down the hall?" Fred asked.

"Nah," Lance smirked. "He needed to take his mind off of his problems. And what better way to forget about an angry telekinetic girlfriend than spending the night with Toad?"

"You have a point," Wanda said. "A sadistic point but a point."

BOOOM!

"Oh I see Pyro's up," Lance got some cereal. "That time of the month huh?"

"Yup," Pietro ate some cereal as well.

"Please God let there be coffee…"

"It's alive!" Lance said cheerfully as Scott stumbled into the kitchen.

"I have just had the worst night of sleep in my life…" Scott groaned, looking like death warmed over in grey sweatpants and a grey tank top. "And considering I've spent time in a cave, in a sewer and in jail…That's saying something."

"Oh come on Summers that bed was plenty big enough for the two of us," Todd snorted.

"It's not the bed itself it was what was **on** the bed and **in **the bed! I don't know what I slept on and I don't **want** to know…" Scott groaned as he sat at the table. "I think my sheets were alive because they were moving!"

"Odds are they probably were," Pietro said. "Toad likes to eat in bed. And you know what his diet is!"

"It was probably the millipedes I had left over from last month," Todd licked his lips. "Don't worry. I got 'em out of your hair before you woke up."

"Wonderful," Scott groaned.

BOOOOOOOOOM!

"What the hell was that?" Scott startled. "Are we under attack?"

"Sort of," Pietro said.

"It's only Pyro," Lance explained. "He's just fending off a pineapple invasion. Nothing to worry about."

"A **what?**" Scott asked.

"We find it's easier to support some of Pyro's delusions," Pietro explained. "So we set up some fruit in the back yard, let him blow it up. Yada, yada, yada…Everyone's happy."

FOOOM!

"Well maybe not the neighbors since they wake up to chunks of pineapple on their windows," Fred remarked. "Wow look at that pineapple fly!"

"Is it always this **insane** in the morning or is this just a treat because I'm here?" Scott asked.

"Hey just be grateful that we have hot water and food on the table!" Lance snapped.

"After last night's dinner I'm not so sure," Scott groaned. "Granted it tasted good whatever it was but **digesting** it is another story. Blob what was in that casserole? And please don't tell me it was squirrel!"

"Of course it wasn't squirrel," Fred rolled his eyes. "That's not the animal we hit the other night with the jeep. I'm pretty sure it was a woodchuck but then again…"

"So I ate a woodchuck last night?" Scott asked.

"Mostly," Fred nodded.

"Mostly?" Scott whined. "What **else** was in it?"

"Well I normally don't give away family recipes," Fred said proudly. "But I'll give you a hint, there's no way you could have tasted any shell because when I found it on Route 9 it'd already been mostly smashed off."

"Okay…" Scott winced. "Let's review. My girlfriend just destroyed my car and kicked me out of my home. I had an evening filled with X-rated puppet shows and a meal of Road Kill Helper. I spent the night in a room the Addams Family would be afraid to stay in."

BOOOOM!

"And Pyro is waging his one man war on fruit in the back yard," Scott groaned. "Why is this happening to me?"

"I don't know but I'm glad it is!" Lance snickered.

"My life is just one big joke to you people isn't it?" Scott glared at him.

"To be fair, God provided the punch line," Lance remarked.

"This is my own fault," Scott groaned. "I **knew **there was going to be trouble as soon as I saw that picture of Emma Frost. Even as I **heard **the whistle leave my mouth and the words: 'Wow, that's some uniform,' I knew I was gonna get creamed!"

"That was kind of dumb and that's **me** talking," Fred agreed.

"Why the hell did I ask Jean if she had a blonde wig?" Scott groaned. "It was like my mouth was trying to kill me!"

"Well so is everyone else that meets you," Lance said. "I guess it was feeling left out."

"So what else do you people do around here besides trading insults and acting insane?" Scott asked. "I've always been curious what you do besides training. Since it's so obvious from the way you fight."

"Big words from a guy whose scared of his girlfriend," Todd chuckled. Wanda scowled at him. "Not that it's a bad thing! Right sweetums!"

Wanda responded by zapping him to the wall. "OW! She digs me!"

"I'd rather dig you a grave but I don't want to get dirt on my clothes!" Wanda snapped. "Is there anyone in the world more annoying than you?"

BAMPH!

"There you are Scott!" Kurt said. He was in his human form. He turned off his inducer. "I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"I really have got to stop asking such obvious questions," Wanda sighed.

"So how are you doing Scott?" Kurt asked.

"I am sharing a room with **Toad**," Scott glared at him. "How do you **think **I'm doing?"

"So is Hurricane Jean worn out yet?" Pietro quipped.

"Uh don't get me **started** on that!" Kurt groaned. "I wish the Professor never let them make that stupid cartoon! It isn't even on TV yet and already our lives are miserable!"

"Still mad huh?" Todd asked.

"And how," Kurt sighed as he sat down. "Jean telekinetically threw some coat hangers at me! They're imbedded in the walls!"

"Where is Xavier during all this?" Lance asked. "I mean how come he hasn't calmed the situation down?"

"The Professor is out of town and plans to **stay **out of town a bit longer than he intended," Kurt told him.

"He left just before the pictures were posted on the web and is hiding out isn't he?" Pietro asked.

"Yes and Storm is out tracking **both** him and Wolverine," Kurt sighed. "The way she was muttering about lightning and metal bones leads me to believe that she will angry for quite a while."

"What about Beast?" Scott asked.

"He's hiding in his lab," Kurt said. "And I can't blame him. The girls are on a rampage. All the other guys are living in fear. The rosebushes are burned to cinders and pieces of Logan's motorcycle are strewn all over the front lawn. It's absolute chaos back there!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"It's not exactly an island of serenity around here either," Scott groaned.

"What is going on?" Kurt asked.

"Pyro's just fighting some fruit," Lance waved. "Go on. So what else?"

"You say the girls are really mad at this cartoon too?" Todd asked.

"Somehow Forge was able to get some copies of possible story lines and out takes and let's just say they didn't exactly make some people happy," Kurt said.

"Such as?" Wanda asked. "I gotta hear this!"

"Okay Toad…Wanda…Please do not freak out about this…" Kurt winced. "There was this possible storyline…It is not official but…"

"Oh God! No! I'm not dating Toad am I?" Wanda shot up.

"No apparently you have a crush…On me," Kurt winced.

"Oh boy," Wanda let out a sigh of relief. "For a minute there I was worried. No offense Kurt its not much of a step up but still…"

"Wait a minute? You? And **her**?" Todd asked. "What about Amanda?"

"I don't think there is an Amanda in this series," Kurt sighed.

"Well that's pretty stupid," Todd snorted. "They could have used the whole mutant dating a human angle and they ignore that?"

"You're not…upset?" Kurt asked Todd.

"Please! Like you'd really cheat on Amanda," Todd rolled his eyes. "I've seen the way you make goo goo eyes at her! Please! Even I know it's just a cartoon."

"Well at least **someone** does," Kurt sighed. "Amanda did not take it too well when she found out. And…"

"And?" Pietro asked.

"I might have also made an unwise comment or two about Emma Frost's uniform," Kurt winced. "Needless to say neither my girlfriend nor my sister is happy with me right now."

"And I'm guessing every female in the mansion, am I right?" Wanda angrily folded her arms.

"Yeah. Amara made that clear when she set fire to my closet. Would you all mind if I hang out on the couch for a day or two?" Kurt asked.

"What is this? The Brotherhood Hotel?" Pietro shouted. "Maybe we should charge rent?"

"Nightcrawler can stay in my room," Lance offered. "What's one more furry thing running around here?"

"I told you Lance there are no more hamsters!" Todd said.

"And I'm telling you I can still hear them squeaking at night!" Lance snapped. "I don't know why they come to my room! But they do!"

BOOOOOOOOOM!

"PERISH PINEAPPLES! HA HA HA HA! I'M GONNA MAKE FRUIT SALSA OUTTA YOU!"

"On second thought…" Kurt blinked.

"As crazy as this place is it's still safer than your house!" Todd gave him a look.

"He's right," Scott said to Kurt. "All right, since we're probably going to stay here a little longer than expected we might as well pay for dinner tonight. How about pizza?"

"You're paying for food?" Fred perked up. "Welcome to the Brotherhood Boarding House Roommate!"

"We are?" Kurt asked. "You do know that you're probably going to max out your credit card with this one meal, right?"

"Kurt trust me," Scott groaned. "It's worth **every penny!** Oh man…I think I'm think I'm gonna upchuck that woodchuck!"

**Let the fun begin! HA HA HA HA! **


	2. The More The Merrier

**The More The Merrier**

"So you actually **survived **a night at the Brotherhood House in **Toad's** room?" Kurt blinked. The rest of the Brotherhood had gone out to 'assist' Pyro in his battle against the tyranny of fruit.

"Barely…" Scott groaned.

"What about the smell?" Kurt wrinkled his nose.

"Toad actually took a shower before bed and there was some kind of orange deodorant thing on the ceiling," Scott sighed. "It wasn't the smell so much as the other living things that were in the room. I'm pretty sure **something** furry crawled on me during the night and I don't think it was a hamster."

"Oh dear…" Kurt winced. "I hope the Professor comes home soon!"

"So do I. I don't think I could survive…Wait, don't you have school today?" Scott asked.

"Yes and guess who **else **has school today?" Kurt gave him a look.

"Oh right," Scott remembered. "Yeah you're safer here."

BOOOM!

"ANOTHER PINEAPPLE BITES THE DUST! HA HA HA!" Pyro cackled.

"Not **much** safer, but safer," Scott said.

"Wanna bet?" Kurt asked. "Somehow Kitty managed to get back into a home economics cooking class!"

"Thanks for the head's up," Scott groaned. "Maybe we should call the school and warn everyone else?"

"After the way everyone looks at us they are on their own," Kurt grumbled. "I think some of the students are catching on that I am a blue fuzz ball. Or they think I turn into a blue demon like a werewolf or something."

"You had another incident in the boy's bathroom with your image inducer didn't you?"

"Girls locker room," Kurt sighed. "I miscalculated a port. That's another reason why Amanda's mad at me."

"And another reason why you're not going to school today," Scott saw the picture.

"To be fair they weren't quite sure it was me exactly but…" Kurt sighed. "I was going to tell the Professor but he left town and then the whole cartoon thing…"

"Maybe it isn't such a bad idea you lie low for today?" Scott sighed.

BOOOOM!

"On the other hand…" Scott groaned.

"Wow! That was fun!" Pyro said as he walked in with the rest of the Brotherhood. "I always feel so much better after defeating a pineapple invasion!"

"And we appreciate it Pyro," Pietro said.

"So is democracy safe from tropical fruit or is there a coconut uprising we need to worry about?" Scott asked sarcastically.

"Oh please! Like coconuts actually **care** about anything other than loafing around on the beach all day!" Pyro scoffed. "Now papayas…That's another story. You can never tell with them."

"Summers," Lance gave him a look. "Pyro has just come down. Do you really want to rev him up again?"

"Sorry," Scott winced.

"Amateurs," Pietro rolled his eyes. The doorbell rang. "Now who's at the door?"

"If it's either of our girlfriends, we're not here!" Kurt gulped and held up his hands in surrender.

"Please," Lance said as he went to the door. "If it was your girlfriends they wouldn't bother to ring the bell! They'd just knock the door down!"

At the door was Bobby, Ray, Roberto and Sam. "I sense a pattern here," Lance remarked. "What do you guys want? As if I didn't have a clue."

"Uh you got a room for the night?" Bobby asked sheepishly. "Or two?"

"There's a lot of smoke in our rooms," Ray said. "And for once it ain't Sunspot's fault."

"Or Berserker's," Roberto glared at him.

"I thought you guys were going to go to school?" Kurt asked.

"We were but Kitty tried to run us over," Sam groaned.

"In the garage," Roberto added.

"And everyone was cheering them on," Bobby groaned.

"Please don't make us go back there!" Ray pleaded.

"Oh why not?" Lance threw up his hands. "Welcome to the Brotherhood Refugee Center! Where your stay is guaranteed to be a **disaster!"**

**Next: More fun! He he he! **


	3. Day One Continues

**Day One Continues**

"All right listen up, you bozos," Wanda barked. "Here are the room assignments so no more complaining! First up in the spare room is Roberto and Ray."

"There was a **spare room?"** Scott yelled. "And you made me sleep with **Toad?"**

"Shut up Summers, tonight you sleep with Lance," Wanda snarled.

"Oh joy," Lance drawled sarcastically.

"My thoughts exactly," Scott glared at him.

"Sam, since you and Freddy both lived on a farm you two can share a room," Wanda added.

"You were on a farm too?" Fred asked. "Well shut my mouth and fill it with corn husks! Did you ever have to do extra chores when you did something wrong too?"

"Yeah I had to spend time with one of my eight sisters and brothers," Sam groaned. "My sister Paige was the worst! She may be half my size but she could always beat me at wrestling!"

"You have a large family too? I mean I never had any sisters or brothers that I know about but I got a lot of cousins and uncles and aunts," Fred said excitedly. "And Uncle-aunts."

"Uncle Aunts?" Sam did a double take. "Sounds like you've met my cousin Pat."

"Yeah I can just imagine the **stimulating conversations** you two are gonna have," Pietro rolled his eyes.

"Pietro shut up!" Wanda snapped. "Iceman we're putting you in with Pyro…for obvious reasons. At least for tonight we don't have to worry about a fire extinguisher shortage. Kurt you have a choice, Quicksilver or Toad?"

"How come **he** gets a choice?" Scott asked.

"Because anybody related to Mystique needs all the help he can get," Lance told him.

"As tempting as spending a night with Toad is I'm gonna opt for clean sheets and a less smelly room," Kurt rolled his eyes. "Quicksilver."

"Oh great! I'm gonna get fur all over my sheets!" Pietro rolled his eyes. "Just stay away from my moisturizers will ya?"

"All right those are the room assignments, any questions?" Wanda asked.

"Yeah why are **you **in charge?" Ray asked. He was then hexed into the wall. "Just checking…Ow…"

"Hey wait a minute," Pietro looked around. "Aren't you one X-Guy short? Where's the short one? Multiple?"

"You mean the little back stabber?" Bobby asked.

"He pulled his dumb and cute routine," Roberto grunted. "Asked all the girls who was the old lady in the picture with the fake breasts when he knew that Emma Frost looked hot!"

"And you correcting him didn't exactly help us," Sam gave him a look. "Sure helped him though."

"Last I saw the little rat he was giving the girls water balloons for them to throw at us," Ray growled.

"So what do you guys want to do today?" Roberto asked.

"Well since you guys are blowing off school anyway why don't we all go to that new Happy Hippoland Fun park two towns over?" Todd asked.

"We are **not **going to an amusement park!" Scott snapped. "We need to get more supplies since all of us are gonna be living here for a few days. And we don't exactly have a lot of transportation."

"Oh yeah we do," Sam said. "We managed to get away in the X-Van. We were planning on living in it until we decided to come here."

"I'm not so sure this was a step up," Ray grumbled as he looked at the mess all around. "This place is a dump!"

"Hey if this place is so bad why don't you head on back to that fancy mansion of yours?" Todd snapped.

"Is Rogue still carrying around that sawed off shotgun?" Kurt asked.

"On the other hand…" Ray said. "You know this place does have that nice…homey lived in feel. Much more relaxed vibe."

"Come on, let's all go to the grocery store and get stuff," Lance said. "Uh you are buying aren't you Summers?"

"I do have a credit card the Professor gave…" Scott began.

"Okay let's go!" Pietro grabbed him and they raced outside.

"All right! Shopping spree!" Pyro said cheerfully.

"Oh this will not end well…" Wanda sighed. "What the hell? It's not like there's anything better to watch on TV."

A half hour later…

"This is a nice supermarket," Scott looked around. "I hate the fact that we have to drive a town over to go here. Hopefully no one remembers that we're mutants."

"AAAHHH!" A couple of bag boys fled when they saw them.

"Oh goody," Lance said sarcastically. "They remember us."

"Kind of hard to forget people who set fire to the produce section," Wanda remarked. "Speaking of which…"

"AH HA! I KNEW IT! I KNEW THE PAPAYAS WERE IN CAHOOTS WITH THE PINEAPPLES!" Pyro screamed and pointed.

"Pyro they're just put together on the display," Scott groaned, knowing full well where this was going. "NO! PYRO! NO! NO SETTING ANYTHING ON FIRE!"

"And they're off!" Wanda rolled her eyes.

Throughout the grocery store various cries were heard.

"Where did all this ice come from? How did the bananas get frozen **and **burnt?"

"What is this green stuff on the cheese? It looks like slime!"

"Dude some fat guy is eating cereal right out of the boxes!"

"Who spilled all this shampoo on the floor?"

"What happened to all the fruit? Why are the pineapples smashed and burnt?"

"Did that guy just pick up a bottle of ketchup with his tongue?"

"Don't look, just walk on by and pretend you don't see anything!"

"Watch out for the flying bag boy!"

"It's his own fault for trying to hit on me!" Wanda yelled.

"So that's what burnt blueberries smell like."

"FISH FIGHT!"

"Clean up on aisle seven, preferably someone who has a lot of experience with live lobsters!"

"Coco Puffs!"

"Maple Loops!"

"Roberto! Ray! It doesn't matter which cereal tastes best!" Scott shouted. "Stop fighting! Stop it! Stop it!"

FOOOM! ZAP!

"We need a fire extinguisher on aisle three!"

"HA HA HA HA HA!"

"And four…"

"ALVERS STOP BOWLING WITH THE WATERMELLON!" Scott shouted. "I don't care how many bottles of shampoo you can knock down with them! Knock it off!"

"MAPLE LOOPS!"

"COCO PUFFS!"

"Who tied up the manager with licorice?"

"I dunno but Doris isn't exactly trying to get him out of it. WHOA!"

"TORNADO IN AISLE FIVE!"

"TOAD! STOP HOPPING AROUND AND GETTING MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER THE PLACE!" Sam shouted. "YOU GOT IT IN MY HAIR! COME BACK HERE!"

"Sam! Don't run! That floor is…" Scott yelled.

BOOOOOOOM!

"Slipperly…" Scott moaned. "There's a big hole in the wall. Oh no…Pyro! Don't! Don't do it!"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"Why would a grocery store sell fireworks in the first place?" Scott shouted.

"Clean up on aisle Nine! And ten…And eleven… Oh forget it! I quit!"

Needless to say the gang didn't stay very long at the supermarket.

"Another outing, another place mutants are banned from," Scott quipped as the gang finally returned to the Brotherhood House. Most of them were covered in food stains. "Thanks all of you for making a bad day become **ten times** worse than I ever expected!"

"Come on Summers it's not like anyone called the cops on us," Lance said.

"They were too scared to," Todd cackled as he carried some bags in.

"At least we got a lot of free stuff," Fred grinned as he carried some bags in. Then he picked up some jars. "Look at what I got! Free chocolate fudge!"

"Did you steal that?" Scott asked.

"No, I did **not **steal it," Fred snapped. "Some cashier threw it at me and I caught it. And a lot of other items. Anyone need any cherry flavored laxatives?"

"I stole some stuff," Pietro said proudly. "After disabling the security cameras of course. Thanks Berserker and Sunspot for creating that distraction in aisle nine. Now I have plenty of cotton balls, shampoo and makeup remover for a whole month! And some great body wash! I'm gonna go wash up and try the honey and yogurt one!"

"I'm gonna go work on another attack plan! Got to be prepared when the papayas double cross us!" Pyro skipped away.

"I got some fireworks! Anyone wanna blow some stuff up in the back yard?" Todd asked.

"Yeah I'm up for that," Ray admitted.

"Why not?" Roberto shrugged.

"Hey what's an afternoon without blowing **something** up?" Lance shrugged.

"I'm gonna go and see if I can get this maple syrup and drywall out of my hair," Sam grumbled.

"I'm gonna go show Nightcrawler my circus scrapbooks!" Fred said cheerfully.

"Neat!" Kurt said.

"I'm gonna go bang my head against the table and cry," Scott groaned as he walked away.

"I'm gonna go pack a suitcase and see if the girls from the mansion will take me in," Wanda muttered under her breath as she went to her room.


	4. What The Neighbors Saw

**What The Neighbors Saw**

You would think after all these years most of the neighbors on the street the Brotherhood Boarding house was on would have moved out. You would be only three quarters right.

But there were some people who stayed. People who lived much further down on the street. The closest was one couple who was technically two houses over but their house was at a certain angle so they could see into the Brotherhood back yard. If they had binoculars.

"Edgar! They're at it again!" A shrill elderly woman with dark hair in a beehive hairdo cried out. She held a pair of binoculars in her hand. "Those crazy mutants are playing with fireworks!"

"Didn't they just blow up a bunch of pineapples this morning?" Her husband asked as he tried to read the paper in his chair. "I hate it when they do that. The whole neighborhood smells like a fruit salad for a week."

"Well this time instead of attracting flies they're attracting more freaks!" Edna told her husband as she watched. "They've got a whole bunch of fireworks in the back yard and they're setting them off! One of them is setting them off with his powers! Edgar! He's lighting them with his hands! He can set them on fire!"

"Oh just what we need on this block," Edgar rolled his eyes. "A new friend for Pyro to play with."

"There's **another** mutant! And he's shooting electricity from his hands!" Edna gasped.

BOOOOOOOOOOM!

"And there goes **another** piece of the neighborhood," Edgar sighed. "What did they blow up this time?"

"Besides a crater in the backyard the old Ferguson place next door to them," Edna said. "Some of the fireworks fused together and took out a wall."

"Good! I hate Old Man Ferguson!"

"He's been dead for three years!"

"Yeah he died before he could pay me the fifty bucks he owes me," Edgar grumbled. "The deadbeat!"

"It's not his fault he keeled over having a heart attack!" Edna huffed. "It was those mutants that gave it to him!"

"Edna, he had a heart attack when he was spying on that blue woman and she changed into a gorilla in front of him," Edgar said. "He was a pervert and a deadbeat who deserved what he got!"

"I haven't seen her in a while," Edna thought. "The blue woman I mean."

BOOM! BOOM! POW! ZAP!

"Gee I wonder **why?"** Edgar moaned. "Now what's going on?"

"The electric one and the new fire one are having some kind of fist fight!" Edna said. "Now the earthquake one is getting involved!"

RRRRRUMMBLE!

"And there goes the rest of the Ferguson house!" Edna squealed. "The house is destroyed! They destroyed the house!"

"So what? Nobody's lived in that house since Ferguson kicked the bucket," Edgar said.

"Only because they could never sell the place! Who'd want to live next door to a bunch of maniacs?" Edna said. "I knew it! I knew they'd destroy that building sooner or later! I just knew it! They're dangerous! Those mutants are a menace!"

"For crying out loud Edna," Edgar snapped. "If you think they're such a menace why don't you call the cops?"

"And then what would I watch Mister Smart Guy?" Edna snapped. "You know there's been nothing good on television since Carson went off the air!"

"I thought Carson Daily was still on MTV?" Edgar blinked. He got up and pushed a button on the wall. "Let's see what's going on."

A periscope came down and Edgar looked in it. "Remind me to give our grandson an extra fifty bucks for his birthday! Especially for installing this baby! Whoa! Now that is a fire! BURN BABY BURN!"

"Too late," Edna said. "The ice mutant put it out. Now there's a whole bunch of them arguing about something."

"Nuts," Edgar growled.

"Five will get you ten that they make another out of control bonfire," Edna said.

"You're on!" Edgar said. He looked into his periscope. "Okay they're off! And I don't just mean the fireworks! Those two new kids are going at it again!"

"Come on Pyro! Come on baby light the fire!" Edna chanted. "Nice big blaze! You know you wanna do it!"

"Don't be foolish Pyro," Edgar said. "Try some self control for once! You already blew up a bunch of pineapples!"

"That sunglasses mutant just got clobbered!" Edna said.

"Shouldn't have tried to break it up," Edgar said.

"There's a fire! There's a fire!" Edna said. "That tree branch caught on fire when that kid's glasses got knocked off!"

"It doesn't count!" Edgar snapped.

"It counts! See! The ice boy had to put that out too!" Edna snapped. "Pay up!"

"You said bonfire! An accidental blast is not a bonfire!" Edgar said.

"Fine then! Double or nothing that they set something else on fire!"

"You're on!" Edgar snapped. "I tell you watching those boys is a lot better than anything on TV!"


	5. Something Fuzzy This Way Comes

**Something Fuzzy This Way Comes**

"Well there's twenty four hours I will never get back," Scott groaned as he sat on the couch in the Brotherhood living room. "And I'm not so sure I **want** them back."

"Somebody's grumpy today," Todd said.

"Yeah for a guy who got kicked out of your home by your girlfriend you're kind of down," Pyro said.

"It's not that bad Scott," Bobby said.

"Bobby you guys destroyed a house and a grocery store instead of going to school," Scott said. "And no Pyro that is not a good thing!"

"Come on Scott," Ray said. "I learned more watching two hours of Animal Planet than I did the past two months in school! Who knew meerkats had such fascinating lives?"

"Yeah and that we're not the only ones who let women run our lives," Roberto grumbled.

"Look it's late and there's nothing but crap on TV," Lance said. "How about we all turn in for the night?"

"Fine with me," Kurt shrugged.

"Yeah I could use an extra hour or two of beauty sleep," Pietro huffed.

"Extra hour? It's almost midnight!" Sam noticed.

"Really? Wow we are going to bed early," Fred remarked.

A short time later Scott was in a sleeveless shirt and grey sweats. Not to mention his goggles so he could sleep more comfortably at night. "I can't believe you made me sleep with Toad the other night!"

"If you keep complaining you can sleep with him **again** tonight!" Lance snapped. He was wearing shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt as well.

"I'll be quiet," Scott said as he got in bed. "Just stay on your side of the bed huh?"

"I'll try to restrain myself," Lance said sarcastically.

"Someone should, preferably with a straightjacket…" Scott grumbled as the boys prepared for sleep.

"Just keep talking sweet nothings," Lance rolled his eyes. "Since there's nothing in that brain of yours…"

"Just shut up and get to sleep," Scott grumbled.

"Hey! This is **my **bed in **my** room! You don't tell me to shut up and get to sleep! I tell **you** to shut up and get to sleep!" Lance snapped. "Now shut up and get to sleep."

"PYRO I SWEAR IF YOU MAKE ONE MORE CRACK ABOUT ME BEING GAY I WILL STUFF **YOU** IN THE CLOSET!" Bobby was heard yelling. "AND BLOB KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE ACCORDION MUSIC! I CAN'T SLEEP WITH THAT RACKET!"

"NO QUICKSILVER I DID NOT TOUCH YOUR STUPID MOISTURIZERS!" Kurt yelled.

"WELL SOMEBODY DID!" Pietro yelled.

"WHY WOULD I NEED SKIN MOISTURIZER?" Kurt yelled. "IF IT WAS CONDITIONING SHAMPOO I WOULD UNDERSTAND BUT STILL…"

"Oh this was a **brilliant **idea…" Scott moaned.

"WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS MY MOISTURIZER?" Pietro yelled. The slamming of doors was heard. "PYRO DID YOU TAKE MY MOISTURIZER?"

"NO! MAYBE BOBBY DID IT? YOU KNOW HOW..."

"IF YOU FINISH THAT SENTENCE THE WAY I THINK YOU ARE GOING TO I WILL KNOCK YOUR TEETH OUT!" Bobby yelled.

"I WAS GOING TO SAY YOU HAVE DRY FLAKY SKIN! I WASN'T GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOU BEING IN THE CLOSET!" Pyro snapped.

"I'M GONNA SHOVE **YOU **IN THE CLOSET!" Bobby screamed and the sounds of fighting were heard.

"I had to come **here..."** Scott moaned. "I couldn't just sleep on a nice quiet park bench or something..."

"WILL EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP AND GET SOME SLEEP?" Lance shouted. "AND PIETRO WHICH MOISTURIZER ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THE PINK ONE OR THE CLEAR JAR ONE?"

"MY NEW ONE! THE ONE IN THE GREEN JAR!"

"OH SORRY PIETRO! THAT WAS ME!" Todd called out. "I WAS TRYING SOMETHING NEW BECAUSE I NOTICED I HAD A COUPLE NEW WARTS ON MY BACK AND…"

"NEVER MIND!" Pietro groaned. "TOAD YOU CAN HAVE MY GREEN JAR!"

"CAN I HAVE AN APOLOGY?" Kurt yelled.

"FINE! I'M SORRY YOU HAVE TO SLEEP WITH A NUTJOB!" Lance shouted. "NOW EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!"

"HEY PIETRO CAN I TRY SOME OF THAT MOISTURIZER TOO?" Sam called out.

"DON'T YOU START!" Scott yelled. "JUST GO TO SLEEP!"

"I'D LOVE TO SLEEP BUT SOME PEOPLE WON'T SHUT THEIR BIG TRAPS!" Roberto yelled.

"YEAH GUYS KNOCK IT OFF!" Ray yelled.

"This is going to be another long night…" Scott groaned as he shut his eyes behind his goggles.

A few minutes later he felt something furry on his chest. "Kurt I swear to God I don't want to hear about anything until…" He opened his eyes.

Instead of Kurt's furry hand he saw the furry body of a hamster looking at him. "AAH! ALVERS! THERE'S A HAMSTER ON ME!"

"Well there's two stupid hamsters crawling on my legs but you don't hear me complaining," Lance groaned.

"There are three hamsters in this bed?" Scott yelped.

"Actually I think it's more like four or five," Lance sighed.

"Alvers!" Scott leapt out of bed, shoving the hamster off of him. "There are hamsters in the bed! How can you be so calm?"

"Guess I'm getting used to it," Lance yawned casually as the hamster on Scott's chest crawled on top of Lance. "You know it's not so bad in the winter time. Keeps you warm."

"Well if you don't mind I'd rather have a rodent free night's sleep!" Scott snapped.

"AAAH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Ray screamed.

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU FURRY LITTLE FREAK!" Pietro screamed like a girl.

"HEY I DIDN'T WANT TO BE…" Kurt yelled. "YIKES! IT BIT MY TAIL!"

"HERE HAMSTER HAMSTER HAMSTER!" Todd called out.

"THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!" Ray screamed and the sound of something being zapped was heard.

"Oh for crying out loud…" Lance groaned as he got out of bed. He turned on the lights and some hamsters scampered away. He opened the door and more hamsters were running in the hallway. Not to mention a few mutants.

"Toad I think we found your escaped hamsters," Sam said casually as he and Fred were helping Todd pick up hamsters.

"I don't believe this!" Kurt teleported into the hallway. "First that insane penguin and now killer hamsters! Toad how do you train these creatures?"

"I have a knack," Todd shrugged.

"HOW MANY HAMSTERS DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE?" Scott shouted as he looked at the myriad of fuzzy creatures running all over the floor.

"Well we started with three but they were pregnant and then we got a couple more and we lost 'em," Todd started to count. "I did get another boy and girl hamster last summer but they escaped from their cage."

"Never mind…" Scott moaned.

"At least this is better than the frog invasion last month," Pietro sighed.

RIBBIT!

"Oh no!" Pietro shouted. "Don't tell me they're back too!"

RIBBIT! RIBBIT! RIBBIT!

"Yup they're in the bathroom again," Pyro took a look.

"How did you…Never mind I am better off not knowing!" Bobby groaned. The frogs chorused loudly.

"Great nobody's gonna get any sleep tonight! Not only do we have to contend with a hamster round up we have a frog symphony going on!" Scott shouted.

"Uh Toad, I kind of fried one of the hamsters," Ray said as he came out of the room.

"Don't worry there's plenty more where that came from," Pietro groaned.

"Pietro!" Todd snapped. "Wait which one was it?"

"How should I know? It didn't exactly introduce itself!" Ray snapped as Todd looked in the room.

"Ugh! Burnt hamster!" Roberto groaned holding his nose.

"Oh I remember this one," Todd said. "This one's Jean."

"You named hamsters after us?" Scott asked.

"Only the ones I didn't like," Todd said. "Yeah this one was always a troublemaker. Used to chew on everything."

"And the others **don't?"** Sam asked.

"Don't worry I'll get a box to put it in for now," Todd said.

"You're not gonna cook it are you?" Scott asked.

"Of course not! We don't cook pets! We only cook animals we didn't know," Fred huffed.

"Well I guess we get to have a funeral in the morning!" Todd said cheerfully. "What shall we do this time? Caribbean theme? Pirate theme?"

"Haven't done a Scottish theme in a while," Pietro suggested. "And I do look great in a kilt!"

"I'll go polish my bagpipes!" Fred said cheerfully.

"We're not getting any sleep tonight are we?" Scott asked.

"What do you think?" Lance shrugged. "I'd better get the net for the frogs. I just hope they don't plug up the toilet again."

"Scott why are we here?" Roberto asked him. "Seriously, living in the van can't be all bad compared to **this!"**


	6. Welcome To Happy Hippo Land

**Welcome to Happy Hippo Land**

"Well I thought the night before was bad…" Scott groaned as he exited from the X-Van. "But yesterday was even **worse!"**

"It was not that bad," Lance said.

"Lance we wrecked a supermarket, blew up the house next door, started two fires, and spent the night wrangling hamsters and frogs," Sam said.

"It was a quiet day for us wasn't it?" Fred asked.

"Compared to **what?** Epcot's Illuminations Fireworks display?" Scott asked. "We must have gotten only three hours of sleep before Blob woke us all up with his stupid bagpipes!"

"I thought a sunrise service would be fun," Fred huffed.

"Just be thankful he was wearing underwear under his kilt when that gust of wind blew," Pietro said. "I wish I could say the same for Pyro."

"I never wear underwear if I can help it," Pyro huffed. "Underwear is unnatural and is part of a conspiracy by the fashion industry to make more money and enslave children in other countries."

"It wasn't that bad," Sam shrugged. "I'm used to getting up early. And it was nice of Quicksilver to buy all those donuts for us for breakfast."

"Yeah bought them, right," Pietro coughed. "Although even I have to admit using the last of the fireworks was a little bit overboard."

"Almost started **another** fire," Scott glared at Pyro.

"I know, but you can't expect it to happen every time," Pyro sighed. "Still it was a fun morning!"

"Yeah it was kind of wild," Bobby agreed. "I'm surprised none of the neighbors called the cops on us!"

"That's because they were too busy videotaping us," Lance said. "I think there's only like one or two people on our street left anyway."

"What can I say, we entertain the masses and their hum drum little lives," Pietro grinned.

"Yeah they'll be real entertained because you let all those frogs and hamsters loose in the neighborhood," Roberto groaned.

"Not all of them," Pietro grinned. "On my donut run I kind of dropped a few of our furry friends off at a few places. A certain former Bayville High Principal's for one!"

"Am I correct in assuming that the X-Mansion was **another **one?" Scott sighed.

"What do you think?" Todd said.

"Even wrote a little note saying it was a present from all you guys," Pietro grinned. "Girls love cute fuzzy things! So I put them in all their rooms!"

"We are never going to be able to go home again are we?" Kurt sighed dejectedly. He had his inducer on that made him look human.

"We could always call the van home," Ray said.

"Not after spending an entire hour cramped in there driving with the Brotherhood," Bobby groaned. "Why didn't we take two cars?"

Todd grinned as he stood inside the gate as Scott paid for the tickets. "Here we are! Happy Hippo Land! The Biggest Fun Park in Town!"

"Shouldn't we go to school or something?" Sam asked. "At least to get our homework?"

"Dude it's the last week anyway," Ray said. "We already had final exams. Why should we stay for extra days of torture?"

"Sounds logical to me," Bobby nodded.

"Guys this is a bad idea," Scott said. "I don't know why we're here!"

"You can always go home and say hi to Jean," Todd quipped.

"Then again I guess a couple rides on the roller coaster couldn't hurt," Scott said. "Just remember everyone, **don't **call attention to ourselves. **Don't **use your powers. Don't **steal** anything or **wreck** anything! And for the love of God Blob please try not to eat everything in sight! Blob? Blob?"

"I'll have five fried doughs," Fred was at the counter of a booth. "Two of them with cinnamon powder, two sugar and one plain. Three soft pretzels, no salt with cheese. And uh…Just fill up a clean garbage bag full of popcorn."

"So much for that **last **rule," Ray groaned. "I'm going off to the carnival booths to see if I can shoot something."

"This has disaster written all over it," Scott groaned as a few Brotherhood and X-Men took off from the group. "Strike that. It's **full name** is written out. Disaster Catastrophic Mayhem."

"That reminds me," Todd looked at Lance. "Are you still with Kitty?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Lance growled.

"You're fighting again aren't you?" Kurt said.

"I'm not the kind of guy who points fingers but this time it was **her** fault!" Lance snapped.

"What did you do?" Scott asked. "I know it can't be about the cartoon thing because you haven't talked to her before you found out…"

"For your information Summers I caught **her** cheating on me! Sort of," Lance grunted.

"Sort of?" Scott asked.

"I found out she was e-mailing that Colossus guy on the side," Lance said. "She even planned some kind of date! She said it was just to show him around the mansion but I know that's a cover!"

"She was?" Scott asked.

"AH HA!" Lance pointed. "See! See Pietro! I'm not paranoid! Even Summers didn't know about it which **proves** it wasn't a recruitment thing! I **knew** it! Pietro? Where are you?"

"I'm afraid to ask," Scott sighed. "I should have known you Brotherhood Bozos couldn't control yourselves."

"THERE'S ICE ALL OVER MY BOOTH!" A carnival booth worker shouted. "MY WATER BALLOONS ARE ALL FROZEN!"

"Oh no…" Scott groaned. "DRAKE!"

"You know that air of superiority gets a little staler each time you say something like that," Lance smirked.

"Drake! What the…?" Scott looked and saw that indeed several balloons at the dart booth had frozen solid.

"Wow try breaking those babies," Lance blinked. "How did that happen?"

"I sneezed and my powers kind of got away from me for a moment," Bobby yawned.

"How could you let that happen?" Scott grabbed Bobby and dragged him away.

"I couldn't help it! I was tired!" Bobby snapped. "Hey maybe that's why the Brotherhood is so disorganized? Lack of sleep!"

"I don't care! Just knock it off!" Scott snapped. "Remember we're trying not to draw attention to ourselves!"

"Where's Toad?" Lance looked around. "Oh there he is, leading a parade."

_"It's a Happy Hippo Land! We're in our Happy Hippo Place! And we've got Happy Hippo Smiles all over our face!"_ Todd sang and danced around a parade filled with animatronic hippos and people dressed in hippo costumes.

"Just walk away and pretend we don't know him," Lance advised. "As far as anyone's concerned he's just part of the show."

"Right, come on Kurt," Scott nodded. "Kurt?"

"_Happy Happy Hippos! Dancing all around!"_ Kurt had joined Todd in dancing with the performers. _"Happy Happy Hippos! Happiness abounds_!"

"Kurt…" Scott groaned.

"Who's Kurt?" Lance feigned ignorance. "I don't know a Kurt. Do you know a Kurt?"

"I have never met a guy named Kurt in my life…" Scott said. He looked around and saw that Bobby had taken off. "Or a guy named Bobby. Come on, let's get at least one roller coaster ride in before they wreck the place."

"Fine with me," Lance nodded.

Some time later…

"Now that roller coaster rocked!" Lance laughed. "I could do that again!" He and Scott were wandering about on their own.

"You know I can't believe we've been here nearly two hours and been on four rides and nothing insane has happened yet," Scott said.

He saw Kurt and Todd still dancing around with the hippo parade. "Well no more than usual."

"Yeah even you've mellowed out some more," Lance snorted.

"Well I needed something to get my mind off that stupid cartoon," Scott grumbled. "I knew it was a mistake to see that promo online! I can't believe they made me a self absorbed loser sitting in front of the TV all day just because I lost Jean!"

"I know," Lance said. "You hate watching TV for too long. Everything else was pretty much on target but still…"

"And they had Rogue joining the Brotherhood again?" Scott said.

"I'm surprised Bayville is still **standing,"** Lance remarked. "Maybe she didn't see the clip? Because I know for a fact there is no way in hell she'd come back to us."

"How do you know?"

"Because when she left she actually said that there was no way in hell she was coming back to us," Lance gave him a look. "Okay I can see her forming her own mutant team but still…"

"And it looks like Wolverine is the only one to bring the team of X-Men back together after Professor X goes missing!" Scott ranted. "I mean for crying out loud! When the Professor disappeared for real Wolverine **took off!** I'm the one that had to keep the team together! Well me and Jean. But you see where I'm going with this!"

"Yeah I also see that Toad was on that big spinning ride," Lance noticed a few park attendants looking sick as they cleaned up a large ride covered in slime. "Must have taken a break from the dancing hippos."

"I just can't believe the Professor let them make that insane cartoon!" Scott groaned.

"I can't believe how badly they messed up Storm's hair," Lance quipped.

"And a future controlled by Sentinels? Is the Professor so scared of those things he'd show that kind of propaganda?" Scott asked.

"Please! After how they totally failed against Apocalypse it'll be a long time before we see those tin cans again!" Lance scoffed. Then he saw something. "I wish I could say the same for Mister Flickers."

"Who's Mr. Flickers?" Scott blinked.

"This is how you put on a **real** fire show! Ha ha ha!" Pyro laughed as a fire juggler ran in fear from a giant fire dragon.

"Oh right…" Scott groaned. "**That's** Mr. Flickers!"

"MY POPCORN STAND! WAAHHHH!" A vendor wept as a huge mountain of popcorn overflowed and Fred sat there, eating with glee.

"What happened here?" Scott asked. Roberto was nearby and looked rather guilty.

"Uh well you see the popcorn machine was broke and I thought I could give it a jump start with my powers," Roberto coughed.

"I think we can guess the rest," Lance sighed. Then he saw Ray, Sam and Pietro run up to them. "And what chaos did you losers cause?"

"Pietro did it!" Ray yelled.

"I figured that," Scott folded his arms. "What did you do?"

"Well you know those signs that say only trained ride personnel should operate the machinery?" Pietro asked. "They mean it."

"MOMMY GET ME OFF THIS CRAZY RIDE!" A man screamed as he and several other passengers rode by on a roller coaster really fast.

"You got some people stuck on a roller coaster didn't you?" Lance asked.

"Well…technically…" Pietro coughed.

"AAAAHHHH! I AM GONNA HURL CHUNKS BIG TIME!" People screamed as they zoomed all over the place on the spinning teacup ride.

Kurt then teleported in with Todd. Both looked woozy. "Thanks **a lot** Quicksilver!" Kurt snapped. "Your stupid prank nearly trapped us on that ride forever! Good thing I teleported out before I got covered in gunk too!"

"Oh…" Todd wiped his mouth. "I never knew I could make that much slime!"

"Okay who's missing?" Scott sighed. Then he saw Bobby being chased by several character hippos. "Of course!"

"How was I supposed to know that snow cone machine would react to my powers that way?" Bobby yelled.

"Oh this is so bad…" Scott sighed. A few dancing hippo character costumes danced up to them. "Oh great…Your friends are here."

"Give us a break guys," Todd groaned. "We're just coming down off of a bad trip!"

"What are you doing?" Scott asked as a hippo danced around him. "Hold it! No! Don't!" The hippo grabbed his glasses.

ZAP!

"And there goes the Ferris wheel," Lance blinked as the ride nearby was obliterated by Scott's optic blasts. "Good thing that ride was closed for repairs otherwise things would have gotten really messy!"

"Well that was unexpected," Pyro blinked.

"Oh look, here comes park security right on time," Lance remarked. "EVERYBODY RUN!"

Three minutes later in the parking lot. "I don't think they're chasing us anymore," Todd panted as they got inside the X-Van.

"That's because Quicksilver tied them up with taffy," Sam said. "And Toad made them fall using his slime."

"I knew it was too good to last," Sam sighed. "Although Scott I'm surprised you were the one that got us thrown out!"

"Actually if you want to be technical he was only the straw that broke the camel's back," Kurt remarked. "Toad had a few incidents on a few rides…"

"Fuzzy's watch got knocked around and turned off on another, freaking some people out," Todd glared at him. "But that's only because Pietro…"

"I think we all know what we all did and what happened!" Scott stopped him. "Let's just leave before we make the evening news again!"

"I didn't do anything," Lance smirked.

"For once," Ray rolled his eyes.

"I know how to cheer you guys up!" Fred took the wheel of the X-Van. "This is gonna be fun!"

"Riding even more hours in a cramped van with the Brotherhood and Blob at the wheel," Bobby rolled his eyes. "Whoopee."

"We just got thrown out of a hippo theme park," Scott gave Fred a look. "Haven't we done **enough** damage?"

"Hang on guys! We're off to Jersey!" Fred said cheerfully.

"Apparently not…" Scott groaned.

**Yes there are not one, not two, but three different video promos of Wolverine and the X-Men online! I saw 'em all! And the animation looks great! And so do the storylines! It's almost the same drawing style of X-Men Evolution! Check 'em out on the web! They're on a few toonzone and Marvel sites as well as You tube! **

**So what will the guys find in Jersey? The same thing I find when I visit my relatives. Nothing but trouble! **


	7. It's Party Time

**It's Party Time**

"Blob we've been on the road for hours," Lance groaned. "Where are we going?"

"There's this party in Jersey and I wanna check it out," Fred said.

"You're driving us all the way to a party in **New Jersey?"** Bobby asked.

"Dude, our reps are so bad we gotta go out of state to get to a decent party," Ray groaned.

"Whatever, a party's a party right?" Pietro asked. "I need to let loose and shake my thing!"

"I dunno guys I don't think this is a good idea," Scott said.

"You never think anything is a good idea," Pyro spoke. "Loosen up Tightly McTightly! It'll be fun!"

"Beats sitting around watching TV all night," Ray said.

"I dunno I could have watched another marathon of Total Drama Island," Bobby said. "Hey did anybody notice how much Gwen looks like Rogue!"

"I did notice that!" Fred spoke up. "I thought it was just me!"

"No! I mean she does look like her! I mean the hair is different colors but the style is the same! Even the outfit looks like..." Pyro began.

"Will you guys just shut up about the stupid cartoons?" Scott snapped. "It was a stupid cartoon that got us into this mess in the first place! I'm just not sure that going to a party in Jersey is the best thing we can do considering all the destruction we caused today!"

"Well we could always cause more damage," Pyro said cheerfully. "Come on! A party will make you forget your troubles and how whipped you are by your girlfriend!"

"Yeah the flyer said mutants were welcome and everything," Fred nodded.

"Flyer? What flyer?" Scott did a double take.

"The flyer in our mailbox," Fred said, pulling out a piece of paper from his shirt pocket. "Read it!"

"For a night of Mutant Friendly Fun come to our meeting," Scott read. "Explore new frontiers in human/mutant relations. Mutants welcome. There will be punch, a buffet, seafood bar…"

"Now we know why Blob wants to go," Pietro snickered.

Scott continued reading. "Dancing, and all sorts of fun. Did we mention mutants were welcome? I dunno there's something real fishy about all this."

"Come on Summers," Todd said. "We're in Jersey! What could go wrong?"

"You've obviously never seen an episode of the Sopranos," Kurt quipped.

"Are you sure this is the place?" Lance asked as they drove in the lot of what seemed to be a large old abandoned church.

"It must be one of those religious church gatherings," Fred said. "You know they had these all the time back home. A meet and greet and dance and beer pong tournaments so all the young folks could get together in a wholesome environment."

"Beer pong tournaments?" Kurt asked. "In a **church?**"

"Well our church was kind of liberal when it came to alcohol," Fred told them. "Our pastors were real believers in the water into wine story. Kept trying to reenact it but the Feds kept closing them down."

"One of these days Blob I am going to take a trip to your home town just to see if this place really **exists** or if it's just a concoction of your deranged imagination," Lance groaned.

"Hey! Blob's not the one who sees things that aren't there!" Pyro said. "That's my bag!"

"You think we should go in?" Ray asked.

"There's a lot of cars here," Roberto said. "Why not check it out?"

"I dunno about this," Scott said.

"Yeah, for once I'm with Summers but not for his usual reasons," Lance grunted. "Going to some kind of church social? Sounds like a snooze fest to me."

"It would not hurt any of you to have **some** exposure to religion!" Kurt snapped as he turned his inducer back on, reverting to his human form. "Especially those members of the Brotherhood who do not think it is wrong to steal."

"Hey we're not doing any worse than what the **oil companies** are doing," Todd told him as they got out of the van. "So cool it with the self righteous stuff huh? Besides, why are you turning on your inducer? This gig's supposed to be mutant friendly."

"Better safe than sorry," Kurt shrugged.

"Wonder what that means?" Sam pointed to a billboard.

"What? FOH meeting tonight?" Bobby read it. "Must be some kind of ladies' league or something."

"Are you sure we should do this?" Scott asked as they got ready to enter the door.

"Summers, relax! It's just a bunch of people hanging around a church," Pietro rolled his eyes. "What could happen? It's not like they're gonna burn anyone at the stake or something!"

"You would be surprised how often that happens," Kurt groaned.

They walked in and instantly dozens of people looked at them. There were several teenagers there but there were also a lot of adults. And a lot of adults were very muscular and looked like extras out of a boxing movie.

"Boy for a church social there don't seem to be too many churchy types," Bobby looked around at some men who were bikers with large chains and tattoos.

"Maybe it's one of those biker church socials?" Pyro asked.

"Something tells me this isn't a church social and I don't see a buffet," Scott remarked at all the hostile faces glaring at them.

"I know who you are!" A brown haired man in his thirties and wearing a brown suit snapped. "You're those mutants from Bayville! What are you doing here?"

"We heard there was a buffet!" Fred said cheerfully.

"Uh yeah we got this note saying that there was a party for mutants," Todd gulped. "We thought we'd come over and say hi! Hi!"

"I'm gonna take a guess and say we were misinformed," Bobby winced at the hostile glares and menacing looks all around.

"You could say that. This is an FOH meeting for members only! Do you know what FOH stands for?" The man grinned.

"Fun Out House?" Pyro blinked.

"Free Our Hamsters?" Todd asked.

"Fuzzy Old Hamburgers?" Fred asked.

"No!" The man snapped.

"Fried Okra Helper?" Sam asked.

"Flying Over Honduras?" Roberto asked.

"Forfeit Open Houses?" Bobby asked.

"Forget Obscure Homonyms?" Pyro asked again.

"No, no, no and no!" The man snapped.

"Followers of Quicksilver the Magnificent?" Pietro asked.

"THOSE AREN'T EVEN THE RIGHT LETTERS!" The man screamed.

"I know but it was worth a shot," Pietro shrugged.

"Forget the Earth, Quicksilver your ego wouldn't even fit on Jupiter!" Kurt snapped. "Well what **does** FOH mean?"

"It stands for the Friends Of Humanity!" The man shouted. "I am Graydon Creed! It's president and founder!"

"Oh Friends! That's nice," Pyro nodded cheerfully.

"I don't think these are the kind of friends we want Pyro," Lance looked around and saw many people pulling out bats, pipes and guns.

"I dunno they look like your kind of crowd," Roberto said.

"Uh are you guys friends as in dedicated to picking up trash, helping little old ladies and all that boy scout stuff?" Pietro looked around nervously. "Because Summers is really into that!"

"Our goal is to help humanity by ridding the world of the mutant disease that poisons it!" Creed shouted. "We will fight until every single mutant is exterminated off the face of the planet!"

"O-kay…" Lance winced as the mutants were surrounded. "Great idea Blob! Nice choice for an afternoon activity."

"Oops," Fred blinked. "Sorry. My bad."

"I **knew** this was a bad idea," Scott groaned.


	8. Let's Get Nasty

**Let's Get Nasty**

"Let's go to a party in Jersey you said," Ray growled as they were surrounded by FOH members with guns and all sorts of weapons. "Let's go to a party you said! What could happen you said! How about this? Attacked by a bunch of crazed mutant hating nut jobs? THAT'S WHAT COULD HAPPEN!"

"Note to self, never let the Blob pick an evening activity again!" Kurt groaned.

"Now I know how a turkey on Thanksgiving feels just before he gets the stuffing kicked outta him," Sam groaned.

"Remember, try not to use your powers too much or hurt them!" Scott said.

"Oh yeah that'll convince 'em not to kill us!" Pietro rolled his eyes.

Just before anyone did anything there was a huge boom and the ground seemed to shake. "Okay that's **not** me!" Lance shouted.

"HEY! YOU LOSERS THREW A MUTANT BASHING PARTY AND FORGOT TO INVITE US?" Someone shouted. "BIG MISTAKE!"

"What?" Scott blinked as several FOH members were thrown all over the place.

A purple blur knocked over several FOH members. The blur then turned into an eighteen year old boy with long purple hair and a purple leather outfit. "Come on boys! Let's dance! How about doing the twist?" He spun off knocking more people down.

"I prefer to do a twist and **SHOUT!"** A sixteen year old boy with short purple hair, who looked very similar to the first boy jumped up. He was wearing a black and purple outfit and screamed at several FOH.

"Whoa! That's loud!" Bobby covered his ears.

"Shoot them!" Creed shouted, waving his gun. "Shoot..."

WHUMMMM!

"Them?" Creed gulped as suddenly a pulse disintegrated his gun into pieces.

"Don't you know by now that **everything **has a weak spot?" A black and purple haired Chinese eighteen year old girl snorted. She was wearing a purple t-shirt with a black leather jacket and jeans with chains and black boots. "And I **always** find it!"

"Uh oh…" An FOH man realized that he was unarmed against more angry mutants. "This could be a problem…"

"Problem? Here's a real problem!" A teenage boy covered completely in crystal hit the nearest FOH member towards him.

"Yeah there may not be enough of these pansies to go around!" A huge bald teenage boy with big muscles and black spandex laughed as he lifted up a pew and threw it at the FOH.

"Tell me about it! These losers aren't any challenge at all!" A green haired girl in a green and white outfit laughed as she made several FOH fall to the floor in dizzy spells. "No wonder Scrambler decided to stay outside and steal stuff from their cars!"

"Hello boys," A red and black scaled seventeen year old girl with black hair did a back flip and kicked an FOH member in the jaw. She was wearing a black halter top, short black shorts and high heeled boots with silver bracelets and earrings. "Can I play?"

"Who are **these** guys?" Ray blinked.

"I dunno but I like their style!" Lance whooped. "Let's join 'em!"

"Thought you'd never say it!" Pietro zoomed up and knocked out two FOH. He was about to hit another one when the purple speedster beat him too it. "Hey! He was mine!"

"Sorry pal! Too slow!" The purple speedster laughed.

"Why you! I'll show **you **slow!" Pietro shouted. Both speedsters began to zoom around hitting as many FOH as possible.

"Why is it no matter where we go, some kind of fight always breaks out?" Scott grumbled as he used his fists to take out an FOH man. It became a free for all. Some mutants were more liberal about using their powers than others.

"Ever hear of a hot foot?" Pyro set one guy's pants on fire from behind. "How about a hot backside!"

"Pyro!" Bobby froze the flames, leaving the poor man with frozen underwear. "Whoops…"

"AAAAAHHH!" The burly man screamed like a little girl.

"Whoa, talk about shrinkage," Todd blinked. He then used his tongue to hit and trip a few FOH members.

"Ooh! I know how to put that tongue to **better** use!" The snake girl laughed as she kicked another FOH member.

"Let's rock this joint!" Lance sent out a tremor.

"You're playing my song baby!" The tremor girl laughed as she let out a tremor of her own.

"You maniacs! This place can't take the tremors!" Scott shouted. The building began to rock wildly. "It's gonna come down!"

"Stand and fight you cowards!" Creed shouted. Then he noticed the ceiling was going to collapse on his head. "On second thought…RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

People screamed as everyone fled the building. The FOH escaped to their cars, well those that weren't turned into scrap metal or trashed. "YEAH YOU'D BETTER RUN CREEPS!" The green haired girl shouted as they fled. "AND DON'T MESS WITH THE MUTANTS IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YA!"

The abandoned church collapsed into a pile of rubble. "That's one way to bring down the house," Lance quipped.

"It's also your specialty," Scott groaned. "And a recurring theme. What? We're gonna end up destroying one building a day now?"

"Maybe just to start off with," Pyro thought. "Then we could move up to two houses a day. Then three. By the end of the year we could be trashing entire neighborhoods with little..."

"Forget I said anything Pyro!" Scott shouted.

"Thanks for the assist but who are you?" Bobby asked the new mutants.

"You guys didn't seriously think you were the only mutant teams in the world did ya?" The purple haired speedster chuckled. "We're the Nasty Boys. I'm Riptide! I spin wild and fast and throw some mean home made throwing stars. Otherwise known as Janos Quested. This fellow here is my brother Johnny, named Ruckus cause he's so quiet!"

"Johnny Quested?" Pietro raised an eyebrow.

"What can I say, my parents had a sick sense of humor," Ruckus shrugged.

"That's Scrambler who can screw anything up he wants," Riptide pointed to the black haired youth in a green cammo jacket.

"Got some nice engine parts as well as a CD player," Scrambler grinned as he held an object in his hand.

"Blockbuster, well I think you can figure out why we call him that," Ruckus pointed to the large bald muscled youth. "That's Prism, also known as Ralph Jones," The crystal mutant changed into a lanky bald African American teen with a Celtics jersey and shorts.

"And the lovely ladies here are Arclight, Vertigo and Stacy X," Riptide introduced the girls. "Arclight can make any size seismic vibrations she wants and wreck anything she wants!"

"Sounds like your kind of girl Lance," Todd elbowed his friend.

"Vertigo can make anyone dizzy but she don't need her powers to do that," Riptide smiled at the green haired girl. "And I think you can figure out about Stacy X."

"Ooh I love a man with a great tongue," Stacy purred at Todd.

"Uh yeah," Todd stepped back. "Nice to know."

"Hey how come you're called the Nasty Boys when some of you are girls?" Bobby asked.

"Probably the same reason you're called X-**Men,**" Arclight sniffed. "I mean half of you are girls and most of them are more powerful and better fighters than you!"

"And **Brother**hood? Come on!" Stacy X folded her arms.

"Hey I wanted to change our name to Quicksilver's Cool Gang!" Pietro sniffed. "Or Quicksilver and the Quicksilvers! I thought about Pietro's Privates you know like Hogan's Heroes the TV show but then I realized that had a double meaning so…"

"As you can see we all decided that Brotherhood was a lot simpler," Lance rolled his eyes. "Besides our boarding house is called the Brotherhood Boarding House so…Just sort of stuck."

"So how did you know…?" Scott began.

"About the setup the Fools of Humanity put on?" Riptide added. "They do this all the time around here. Send letters luring innocent unsuspecting mutants so they can beat 'em up! Almost worked on Stacy X here."

"Yeah but in my case my former 'manager' sent me to do a job," Stacy X growled. "Fortunately these guys saved my butt and helped me fire my former boss big time!"

"Manager? What you were on stage or something?" Todd asked.

"Or something," Stacy X snorted.

"They probably picked you guys because they kept getting their butts kicked by us," Riptide snorted. "And every mutant around here got wise to 'em fast!"

"We've been keeping an eye on 'em in case they'd pull a stupid stunt like this again," Prism snorted. "I guess some people never learn even after sixteen or seventeen times."

"So you guys have been doing your thing out here in Jersey?" Pietro asked.

"For three years now," Ruckus said.

"But why didn't the Professor pick you up on Cerebro?" Scott thought. "Something's fishy here."

"Oh that," Ruckus said quickly. "Well you see these FOH idiots have some kind of bio signature detector that tracks mutants. Scrambler and I made something that throws off our signals. Probably interferes with your Cerebro telepathic thingy."

"But then why…?" Lance began.

"Oh man! Our ride!" Bobby cried out loud.

They saw the X-Van had been trashed. The tires were slashed and FOH was written all over the side. "Yeah sorry about that," Scrambler sighed. "When we got here these guys were trashing your van. I made sure they were sorry for it but ya know…Sorry dude," Scrambler sighed.

"Now we're stuck here!" Ray moaned.

"Stuck in Jersey with the Brotherhood…" Bobby groaned.

"Stuck in Jersey with the X-Men," Pyro gave him a look.

"You know, we got a few wheels of our own," Riptide said. "We're parked just down the street. There's my car, Blockbuster's van and Stacy's vette. We can take you back home if you want."

"Really? That's nice of you," Scott was surprised. "If it's not out of your way…"

"Heck no! We don't usually get to sleep until dawn anyway and now that the FOH goons got their butts kicked we can chill out for a while," Prism smirked.

"Those cowards never show themselves at least a week after we teach them a lesson," Arclight smiled. "Come on! Let's go!"

"Uh hold on a second!" Pyro held up his hand. "I need to take a tinkle!"

"So do I," Fred raised his hand.

"I gotta go too," Todd said.

"Yeah I could use a bathroom too," Sam said. "It was a long ride and a crazy fight."

"There's a gas station around the corner," Scrambler said. "Follow me."

"Might as well go while we can," Lance shrugged.

"Why not?" Scott sighed. "It's a long ride anyway!"

"Tell me again why we don't bring them back with us?" Blockbuster whispered to Riptide as the Brotherhood and X-men went ahead.

"You wanna give away our secrets? Last thing we need is for them to find the location of our base! Besides it's more fun this way," Riptide grinned.

"I know **I'm** gonna have a lot of fun," Stacy X grinned.

"Just remember the plan," Riptide told them. "You know what to do."

"Don't worry," Vertigo grinned. "It was so easy to set them up in the first place. This is gonna be a piece of cake."

**Like my version of the Nasty Boys? He he this is gonna be fun! **


	9. Party Down

**Party Down**

"All right! I didn't say anything when you guys cleaned out half that convenience shop and made me pay for it," Scott snapped. "I kept quiet during the drag race on the interstate! I bit my tongue when Toad slimed Kelly's mailbox! And I admit I enjoyed throwing toilet paper all over Duncan Matthew's lawn. But this has gone far **enough**!"

"TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!" Fred and Blockbuster chanted. They were wearing sheets over their clothes and running around the Brotherhood Living room chugging root beers.

Rock music was blaring as Lance, Kurt, Bobby and Ray danced with the Nasty Girls. Sam and Ruckus were in an air guitar contest. Roberto, Scrambler and Pyro were using Scrambler's laser guns for target practice on the dishes in the kitchen. Todd and Prism were playing basketball in the hallway. Riptide and Pietro were having some demented game of tag while drinking all the soda Fred and Blockbuster weren't drinking. Not to mention a few other drinks that were not technically legal for most of the kids in the room.

And Scott of course was having a nervous breakdown.

"No toga! No basketball in the hallway! And no shooting! Guys come on!" Scott shouted. "This is insanity!"

"No, dude! It's a party!" Pietro laughed.

"It's three in the morning!" Scott snapped.

"Come on Scott! Lighten up!" Kurt laughed as he danced by him. His image inducer was off and he looked intoxicated. "It's a party! Let it loooose!"

"Kurt are you drunk or something?" Scott asked.

"I'm just getting into the mood! Feeling the vibe!" Kurt laughed as he teleported on the ceiling and danced on it.

"I'm feeling like this is gonna be a big mistake," Scott groaned. "Another big mistake in a long line of big mistakes!"

"He shoots! He scores!" Todd scored a basket that was nailed to the wall. "The Toad wins! Yayyy!"

"Hey baby," Stacy X slithered up to him. "How about you and me giving that tongue of yours a real workout?"

"Uh thanks babe but uh…I'm kind of sweaty and all that, ya know?" Todd backed away.

"Ha ha I win again!" Pietro zoomed by then stopped. "Whoa! Did I just hear something that would shatter my world?"

"Come on Toady," Stacy X smiled as she seductively winked. "I won't bite."

"Yeah well uh hey! I gotta go do that thing ya know? Hey ya you! Uh Ray! Gotta see ya about that thing!" He got away as quickly as possible.

"I did! I did see something that shattered my world!" Pietro did a double take.

"Toad this girl is throwing herself at you and you're treating her like she's your kid sister or something!" Ray told Todd. "I mean don't tell me you don't dig her because of the way she looks! Scales or not she's hot!"

"It's not because of the way she looks, which by the way I agree she is hot!" Todd glared at him. "It's the fact that I'm totally into Wanda! I'm a one woman Toad!"

"Lucky her," Ray rolled his eyes.

Ray wasn't the only one to notice this. "What the hell's going on with the Toad, X? Why isn't he under your spell yet?" Riptide hissed.

"I don't know he seems to be immune to my powers for some reason," Stacy X said to them. "And that makes him even **hotter!** Oh man! What babe!"

"Oh brother," Riptide groaned. "Fine! Just work your magic so the **other **girls will be attractive to the other guys! You can do that can't you?"

"Yeah as long as I put some of my hormones on 'em," Stacy X shrugged. "Piece of cake. You guys have that antidote stuff the boss gave you so you won't be affected, right?"

"Yeah we're fine," Riptide snorted. "Got a sample of the Toad's hair and slime from his room anyway!"

"TAG! YOU'RE IT!" Pietro laughed as he zoomed by them.

"I gotta get back to the game. You get on yours!" Riptide glared at Stacy.

"Fine! I got a back up date anyway," Stacy grinned as she spied Kurt dancing on the ceiling.

"Guys will you cut it out? Come on!" Scott was trying to calm his friends down.

SHATTER!

"Aw man! We're out of plates!" Pyro whined. "We lose more dishware this way."

"Pyro put the guns away!" Scott snapped.

"Hey Stacy," Vertigo whispered. "Give me a hit so I can work on Captain Bringdown here!"

"You got it," Stacy extended her pheromones so that they covered Vertigo.

"Hey Scott," Vertigo slithered up to him. "You look so tense. Relax. Lighten up. I have some light wine. Wanna try some?"

"Well…" Scott felt funny. "I guess a little sip won't hurt. Maybe I should lighten up? Wow…Is it warm in here or is it just me?"

"I dunno, I always think a man in sunglasses looks hot," Vertigo purred. "How about a dance big guy?"

"Well I uh…" Scott really felt good. "Why not?"

"So I told Kitty I said we were either in a relationship or we weren't!" Lance said to Arclight. "And then she reverted to calling me a hood again and that's when things went downhill."

"Well maybe it's time to find someone better?" Arclight smiled as she put her arms around Lance. "Someone who understands the need to shake things up now and then? Someone who won't judge you because of one or two destroyed buildings and accidental tremors."

"Really?" Lance blinked. He didn't notice Stacy walk behind him and release more pheromones.

"I bet if we work on it I can make you forget all about Kitty," Arclight grinned.

"Who's Kitty?" Lance blinked, clearly in a daze.

"Now, now boys there's plenty of me to go around," Stacy purred as she danced with Bobby, Ray, Roberto and Sam. Then she broke off and headed for Kurt. "But let's take turns shall we? Wanna dance tall, blue and handsome?"

"Oh yeah baby!" Kurt did a bad Austin Powers impression and they danced.

"Man this is one wild party!" Bobby felt really good and danced around.

"Yeah I feel great!" Roberto laughed. "No wonder the Brotherhood never come over to our place!"

"Yeah man this is the life!" Ray laughed. "No Danger Room! No nagging! No responsibilities! No school! Just drink and party and play video games and cause trouble…"

"Wow I just realized something!" Bobby said in a half drunken haze. "The Brotherhood is smarter than we thought!"

"They're geniuses," Roberto agreed.

"Wooowwwwwwwww," Sam blinked. "You know, even though I've drank nothing but soda I've got this weird buzz. Feels good but where did it come from?"

"That my friend is the buzz of Freedom!" Pietro laughed as he decided to dance by.

"I like it!" Sam laughed.

"Who needs the mansion when we can have **this?**" Ray laughed.

"Hey look everyone Summers is getting his freak on!" Todd laughed Pyro videotaped Scott and Vertigo dancing together. They were doing a routine that definitely was not one you would expect Scott to do.

"Yeah and he's pretty good!" Ray said.

"Must be because he finally got that stick out of his butt," Fred snorted with laughter so hard soda came out of his nose.

"Go Cyclops! Go Cyclops! Go Cyclops!" Everyone chanted as Scott and Vertigo did a dirty dancing routine on the table in the living room.

"THIS IS THE GREATEST PARTY I HAVE EVER BEEN TO!" Scott whooped as Vertigo wrapped her legs around his torso. "I AM LIVING LIFE AND I LOVE IT!"

SLAM!

The music suddenly stopped. The stereo was telekinetically hurled against the wall and smashed into pieces. "Uh oh…" Todd gulped.

"Hello Scott…" Jean stood there glaring at him. Behind her was Wanda, Amanda and every teenage female mutant at the mansion. "Having **fun?"**

**Busted! Hang on for the epic conclusion! **


	10. Hello, I Must Be Going

**Hello I Must Be Going**

"Jean?" Scott blinked.

"Scott!" Jean growled.

"Amanda?" Kurt gulped.

"Kurt!" Amanda fumed.

"LANCE!" Kitty shouted.

"Kitty?" Lance blinked.

"Babycakes!" Todd threw open his arms.

ZAP!

"Wart Breath!" Wanda growled as she hexed him into the wall.

"Oh yeah…She missed me…" Todd blinked.

"They don't look happy to see us," Ray gulped.

"No, we're **not!**" Rogue snapped. "I knew you were all gonna act like a bunch of dogs off of a leash but I had no idea Cyclops would end up being the biggest **hound** of them all!"

"Kurt I can't believe you are acting like this!" Amanda snapped.

"I can," Tabitha snorted. "Hello? He dumped me for you, remember?"

"Technically that's not…Wait, how did you know we were here?" Kurt asked.

"Hello! Wanda told us when she moved in to get away from you!" Kitty pointed.

"You moved in with the girls? When did **that** happen?" Pyro blinked.

"I've been gone for nearly two days and you didn't even **notice?**" Wanda yelled.

"Well to be fair Snookums we were kind of distracted with the fireworks and the house next door getting wrecked and the hamsters and the frogs," Todd scratched his head.

"And then when we ditched school and went to this amusement park…" Bobby began. "It all kind of snowballed from there…"

"Oh I see!" Jean said sarcastically. "You've all been having a **great** time without us! Typical! I can't believe you all blew off school! AND YOU LET THEM SCOTT!"

"Jean, none of you went to school either for the past couple of days," Wanda realized.

"They **didn't?"** Ray did a double take.

"That's not the point!" Jean snapped.

"We were kind of busy," Amanda coughed.

"Spent a lot of time hanging around the pool, complaining about the guys and made that bonfire of their stuff that would make Pyro proud," Wanda went on.

"Aw man I can't believe I missed that!" Pyro snapped his fingers.

"Now look who's irresponsible!" Scott snapped.

"Scott! I graduated High School! I forgot the schedule! But that's not the point I was about to make!" Jean snapped.

"And let's not forget about our little trip to the spa where we ran into…" Wanda began.

"Wanda, we don't need to tell them **everything!**" Jean glared at her.

"What happened?" Todd asked.

"I'll tell you later," Wanda shrugged.

"You guys caused some damage too didn't you?" Scott asked.

"Not all of us," Amara said.

"Cough! (Jean!) Cough!" Wanda did a fake cough. "Cough! (Rogue!)"

"You weren't exactly Little Miss Perfect either ya know?" Rogue snapped.

"Yeah you made **me** look like Miss Manners," Tabitha said. "And I admit that's an accomplishment!"

"So you guys blew off school too? Unbelievable!" Scott snapped.

"Oh shut up Scott we already took our final exams and it was the last week of school anyway!" Kitty snapped.

"That's just what I said!" Ray shouted.

"Hold it!" Rogue shouted. "Let's back up a second here? Who are these people? And by people I mean the **whores **hanging all over you guys?"

It was just then that Scott realized that Vertigo still had her legs wrapped around his torso. "Oh them? Uh…This is Vertigo…" He let her go. "And…and that's Arclight…"

"Hey there," Arclight put her arms around Lance. Kitty was fuming.

"That's, that's Stacy X," Scott gulped. Stacy purred making every female want to strangle her. "And these are some other friends of ours. We met them in Jersey."

"Oh so you all went to a bar in Jersey to pick up some tramps?" Kitty snapped.

"Who are **you **calling a tramp Miss Two Timer?" Arclight snapped. "Lance told me all about your thing for a certain tin plated Russian!"

"Oh he **did**, did he?" Kitty snapped.

"Well uh…Yeah I did!" Lance suddenly got mad. "I'm not doing anything you didn't do!"

"I'm not doing the horizontal mambo with the first bimbo I can find!" Kitty shouted.

"Who are you calling a **bimbo,** you stuck up mousey ponytail wearing drama queen wanna be?" Arclight snarled at Kitty.

"I'm calling **you** a bimbo you biker slut queen who wears way too much makeup that is so not flattering!" Kitty growled back.

"This is gonna get really ugly, real fast isn't it?" Bobby gulped.

"Oh yeah," Fred nodded.

"Maybe Lance wants a real woman for a change?" Vertigo sneered.

"This from a girl with a fake green dye job!" Jean snarled.

"It's more real than that paint job on **your head** you cow!" Vertigo snarled.

"And what's this one? A hooker wanna be?" Amanda pointed at Stacy X.

"Darling I am a real hooker," Stacy X snorted. "And I can please your man ten times better than you could ever dream of!"

"Really?" Sam blinked. "You're a **hooker? **As in…?"

"Why am I not surprised?" Rogue snarled.

"What are your rates?" Ray asked before he realized that was a very stupid thing to say.

"SHUT UP YOU MORON!" Tabitha hit him on the head. "Say another word and you'll be asking about hospital rates!"

"Talk about the pot calling the kettle black," Vertigo snorted as she pointed at Tabitha.

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?" Tabitha roared.

"I think you all better leave and take your friends with you!" Jean snapped.

"Oh? Do you live here? Is this **your** house?" Vertigo stepped up to Jean and looked her in the eye.

"NO! IT'S **MY HOUSE** AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!"

Everyone turned around and saw a very angry Mystique glaring at them. "I knew this house was going to be a mess when I left but I had no idea you would all come over here to trash it! I mean I have enough problems with the Brotherhood let alone you X-Men and…NASTY BOYS! WHAT ARE **YOU** DOING HERE?"

"Busted," Riptide gulped.

"I thought Magneto told all of you to never show your faces in Bayville again?" Mystique hissed.

"You know who they are?" Jean asked.

"They are a pack of degenerates that make the Brotherhood look like Boy Scouts!" Mystique snapped. "They work for a nut job named Sinister who likes to play with DNA like they were building blocks! I know for a fact that one over there has the power to play with hormones!"

She pointed at Stacy X. "What can I say? Makes my job easier?" Stacy shrugged.

"So…They've been manipulating us from the start?" Sam managed to clear a coherent thought from his brain.

"Wouldn't surprise me! They've done it before!" Mystique snapped.

"How do you…?" Rogue began. "Never mind! Can we kick their butts now?"

"Why not?" Mystique made a fist. "Come on girls! It's clobbering time!"

"Didn't you steal that line from…?" Todd began when he was zapped by Wanda's hex bolt.

"Uh I think she meant only beat up the Nasty Boys Wanda," Kitty blinked.

"No, I meant **all **of them," Mystique said. "Feel free to lay into those idiots we call team mates too!"

"Oh goody," Rogue grinned. "Now you're talking!"

"We are so dead," Ray moaned, his knees shaking.

"Oh yes you **are!"** Tabitha shouted as she punched him in the face.

"I'm gonna burn you…" Amara tried to create a flame. "Hey! My powers won't work!"

"Neither are mine!" Kitty tried to phase but couldn't.

"Sucks to be you," Arclight smiled as she hit Kitty. "Good work Scrambler!"

"Scrambler? You can screw up mutant powers too?" Bobby asked.

"I can screw up anything! With your powers on the fritz you can't do anything!" Scrambler laughed. Someone tapped him on the shoulder. "What?"

POW!

Rogue and Amanda hit him in the jaw at the exact same time. "Who says we need our **powers** to take you slime balls down?" Rogue cracked her knuckles.

"Figures the guy would have a glass jaw," Amanda said as Scrambler lay on the floor, knocked out cold.

"Oh look, power's back on!" Amara made a fireball in her hands. "You were saying?"

"We can still take 'em on! We're the Nasty…AACCK!" Riptide tried to attack but was slammed into the wall by a hex bolt.

"You're just like my brother only more **annoying!**" Wanda yelled. "And that is an accomplishment!" She then zapped Pietro into a wall when he tried to get away. "And you're not going anywhere!"

"AAAAAAHHHH!" Arclight screamed as Kitty phased her half way through the floor.

"Sucks to be you!" Kitty snickered as she hit Arclight.

Arclight responded by using her hands to shatter the floor and pull herself out. "You are so gonna pay you…" Kitty then kicked her hard in the shoulder. "OW!"

Then she kicked Lance. "WHAT DID I DO?" Lance shouted.

"THAT'S FOR BEING A JERK YOU….!" Kitty began to wail on him.

"I'll make you all dizzy!" Vertigo started to use her powers only to be telekinetically shoved into a wall.

"Try it sister!" Jean snarled. "GIRLS! ATTACK!"

It soon became a melee of mutant powers and angry females running amok. And screaming. A lot of screaming.

"YIKES! FIRE HOT! FIRE VERY HOT!" Ruckus shouted.

"You can't hurt me while I'm in my crystal form!" Prism shouted. "OW! OW! I WAS WRONG! YOU CAN HURT ME WHILE I'M IN MY CRYSTAL FORM! OW! OW! OW!"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

ZAP! POW! HEX!

"Come here you overgrown lizard whore!" Rogue shouted as she chased around Stacy X.

"DIE!" Kitty shouted.

"AAAAH! OW! OW! THAT REALLY HURTS!"

"OW! MOMMY!"

"DON'T MOMMY ME KURT! THAT'S RIGHT AMANDA! HIT HIM AGAIN!" Mystique snapped as she kept punching Ruckus. "JEAN! YOU CAN BEAT UP CYCLOPS LATER! VERTIGO'S GETTING AWAY!"

"Right get the whores first," Jean snarled as she threw Scott aside. Vertigo tried to use her powers but Jean's anger knocked her down.

"Make our guys act like love struck idiots will ya?" Tabitha snapped as she and Rogue beat up Stacy X.

"Yeah they can do it well enough without your help!" Rogue snapped as she accidentally ripped Stacy's jacket.

Unfortunately for Ray he saw this and once again his mouth moved. "YEAH RIP HER TOP OFF!"

They stopped beating up Stacy. "You mind?" Stacy asked.

"Go ahead," Tabitha tilted her head toward Ray. Stacy then gave a flying kick knocking Ray down. "Thanks. Now where were we? Oh yeah!" Tabitha and Rogue then went back to wailing on Stacy.

"Let's get out of here!" Riptide got to his feet. Ruckus made a yell that forced the mutants to stop attacking them and the Nasty Boys made a break for it. They ran out the door.

Only to run into more trouble.

Right in front of them was Logan with his claws shot out, Hank, Xavier an army of Jamies and a very ticked off Magneto floating above them. "Going somewhere?" Magneto snarled.

"Uh oh…" Riptide gulped.

"Yeah, uh oh…" Logan growled.

"I believe I gave you lot specific instructions to **never** cross paths with the Brotherhood, especially in Bayville!" Magneto growled.

"And I believe I made a similar request to you a while back myself," Xavier frowned.

"You can't hurt us Baldy!" Prism snapped. "The boss protected us against psychics!"

"I never said **I** was going to harm you," Xavier raised an amused eyebrow. "Them on the other hand…"

"CHARGE!" The army of Multiples attacked. And so did Logan and Magneto.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF US YOU LITTLE PERVERT!" Arclight shouted.

"MY TOP! YOU LITTLE!" Stacy X tried to cover herself.

"CLAWS SHARP! CLAWS VERY SHARP!" Ruckus screamed like a girl.

"NOT THE MAILBOX AGAIN!" Blockbuster screamed. "NOT THE MAILBOX AGAIN! OWWWWWW!"

"What do we do? How do we beat these guys with Scrambler knocked out?" Prism asked. He had the unconscious Nasty Boy on his back.

"Forget it! We got what we wanted!" Riptide snapped. "Let's just get out of here while we still can!"

"But we can win this fight!" Ruckus snapped.

"We're not supposed to win **any** fight!" Riptide snapped at his brother. "Just get the samples and get out! Do it! Or do you want to explain to the boss **why** we failed?"

"Right!" Ruckus pulled out some caplets and threw them. "NASTY BOYS RETREAT!"

Soon the area was covered in smoke. When the smoke cleared the Nasty Boys had disappeared. "Looks like the boys are gone," Jean said.

"And I got a souvenir!" Jamie held up Stacy's bra halter top.

The girls glared at the boys. "Well I hope you're happy!" Rogue snapped. "You turned him into one of **you!"**

"How could we do anything when he was with you girls?" Bobby yelled.

"Well you boys made another mess of my house," Mystique groaned as she looked at the mess all around her. "And why is the front yard covered in toilet paper?"

"We had extra left over," Pyro said.

"And the reason it smells like burned pineapple?" Magneto asked. "On second thought forget I asked! Now that we have returned to restore some kind of order here I rather not know about what kind of insanity went on in my absence!"

"And now we are going back to the Xavier Institute and have a nice long discussion about what's been **going on** the past few days," Xavier said sternly. "**All **of you!"

"Busted…" Todd cringed.

A few hours later after everyone was checked out and patched up in the infirmary there was a meeting in the war room with both X-Men and Brotherhood.

"Let me see if I get this straight," Scott held up his hand. "There's this nutcase scientist calling himself Mister Sinister that experiments on DNA. And when exactly were you planning on telling us about him?"

"I was hoping that he would stay away from the Institute after our last encounter," Xavier sighed. "That was a few years before I recruited you Scott."

"Apparently Sinister doesn't know the meaning of the word quit," Logan grunted. "He must have set up the whole thing. The flyer, the attack…."

"The van…" Bobby realized. "Oh man they must have trashed it on purpose so we'd need a ride from them!"

"Bingo! He can be taught!" Mystique said sarcastically.

"But why? What was the point?" Ray asked. "What did they gain?"

"Besides learning more about your weaknesses and powers?" Mystique huffed. "Probably DNA samples. Not to mention cause utter confusion within our ranks."

"It worked," Todd said.

"So what you guys are saying is that there's a new bad guy in town and he's just a big a threat to us as Apocalypse?" Lance groaned.

"Maybe even worse," Logan grunted.

"Worse?" Pietro did a double take. "How can he be **worse?**"

"Because unlike Apocalypse this guy doesn't have a simple clear cut goal to rule the world," Logan said. "This bozo experiments on everyone, human, mutant, alien it don't matter! As long as he achieves his goal of creating superior life forms he doesn't care if he wipes out entire populations! He's done it before."

"Sounds like you know this guy too," Lance looked at him.

"Back in my SHIELD days we tried to track him down but the bastard was too slippery," Logan grunted. "Never saw the guy but I smelled him once or twice."

"I met Sinister," Magneto growled. "A long time ago. But he had a different identity then. And I had no idea exactly who he was until many years later. It's something…I rarely like to think about. Not exactly my most pleasant memory."

"So we are in agreement that we should work together to deal with him?" Xavier raised an eyebrow.

"Let's not forget our little friends from the FOH Club," Pietro spoke up. "Something tells me those guys aren't just gonna go away overnight."

"Yeah that Graydon Creed jerk really has it out for us," Ray nodded.

"Graydon Creed? Their leader's name is Graydon Creed?" Mystique startled.

"Yeah you know him?" Todd asked.

"Oh yes, I **know** him all right," Mystique growled. "Excuse me boys I have to go out for a while."

"Where are you going?" Todd asked.

"To buy some tampons," Mystique snapped. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"It takes you a few hours to buy tampons?" Fred asked.

"I have a very special brand I like," Mystique told him. "I can only get them in one place."

"Where?" Pietro asked.

"Jersey!" She snapped and walked out.

"You know something?" Fred scratched his head. "I got a feeling that she ain't really going out to buy girl stuff."

"No_, really?"_ Pietro asked sarcastically. "Ya **think?"**

"What was all that about?" Scott asked.

"I have no idea," Magneto sighed. "I find the less I know about Mystique's past the fewer chances I wake up in the night screaming."

"You want me to follow her Charles?" Logan asked.

"I'm afraid we have larger problems than Mystique's homicidal tendencies," Magneto told him. "We should focus on Sinister for now."

"I wasn't asking **you**, bub! I was asking **him!**" Logan pointed to Xavier.

"Here we go," Todd rolled his eyes.

"So much for unity," Kurt agreed.

"Well what can we expect from Mister Prima Donna with his own TV show over there?" Pyro asked.

"Pyro's right," Wanda said. "You're not the star of this show Wolverine so knock it off!"

"Oh yeah I forgot all about that," Scott realized.

"Will you all forget about the cartoon?" Xavier snapped. "I am very disappointed in you X-Men. I expected you to behave yourselves even in my absence!"

"And the absence of Wolverine," Todd added. "And Storm. And any **other** adult figure."

"Yeah Beast was just hiding in the lab!" Sam pointed. "He could have done something but he didn't!"

"Well I uh…" Hank gulped.

"You wanted to save your furry blue hide," Todd said. "And Xavier you knew the kids were really mad but you still didn't come back anyway!"

"Well right…" Xavier looked uncomfortable. "There was Scott and Jean…"

"Who were fighting because of something **you** did," Todd said.

"Technically…" Xavier winced.

"Well that was irresponsible of you," Todd said innocently.

"For once Toad does have a point," Magneto gave Xavier a look. "I mean I expect this type of stupidity and mass destruction from the Brotherhood but really Charles your students should know better!"

"It's not all their fault," Pietro said. "It's Xavier's for marketing that stupid cartoon!"

"That's **another** valid point," Jean realized. "You know Professor it's that stupid cartoon idea that started this whole mess!"

"Yeah if you'd never agreed to that the girls wouldn't have gotten mad over that stupid picture of that chick with the big bazongas and forced the guys over to the Brotherhood House for refuge!" Pyro added.

"Yeah!" Bobby shouted. "We'd have never come over there if the girls weren't on the warpath!"

"You know when you put it like that it really is all his fault," Kitty said.

"Let's give Wolverine **some **of the credit!" Hank said. "It's his cartoon we're talking about!"

"That's right!" Scott shouted.

"My fault?" Logan shouted. "It's was Chuck's dumb idea to try and…"

"So we are all in agreement, no more cartoons!" Hank interrupted. "By the way where's Storm?"

THUNDER! CRACK!

"Oh she's back," Hank said as the sounds of thunder and lightning raged on.

"WOLVERINE!" Ororo's voice rang through the hallways. "WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU HAVING **ANOTHER CARTOON** ALL ABOUT YOU?"

"Uh oh…" Logan and Xavier said at the same time. They looked at each other.

"Did she say **another **cartoon?" Jean said frostily.

"What? You hogging the spotlight in one isn't **enough?**" Scott yelled.

"Okay I know what you're thinking…" Logan held up his hands. "But that Hulk Verses Wolverine cartoon was Charles' idea and it is based on true events."

"Did you say Hulk Verses Wolverine?" Jean's voice was icy. "Is there another bimbo with big breasts to drool over in that one?"

"I was referring to the **Wolverine Extreme** cartoon," Ororo growled. "What's this about you and the Hulk being in **another one?"**

"Oh boy…" Logan gulped. "You know I think I will go after Mystique and see if…"

"TWO? YOU'RE THE LEAD IN **TWO** MORE CARTOONS?" Scott yelled. "Am I in either of them or are you hogging all the glory for yourself?"

"You mean do you get another chance to score with Emma Frost?" Jean snapped.

The Brotherhood stood there and watched as all the X-Men started to yell at each other. And in some cases hit each other. "Isn't this where we all came in?" Todd asked.

"Yes and I believe it's where we are **going**," Magneto said, wisely deciding to make a hasty retreat.

"Hold on, you ain't mad about them making cartoons about us?" Fred asked as they were herded out while the X-Men fought among themselves.

"Yeah why aren't you mad about being depicted as bad guys?" Pietro asked.

"Because I made a deal with Charles and I'm getting twenty percent," Magneto told them. "And the Brotherhood is getting ten!"

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Logan yelled. "YOU GUYS ARE GETTING THIRTY PERCENT TOTAL? I'M ONLY GETTING FIVE PERCENT! **CHUCK!"**

"Now Logan, I…Logan put the claws away!" Xavier shouted. "Storm I…Storm! Please stop making it rain on my head! OW!"

"Boy all those studies were right," Todd blinked at the mayhem going on. "Cartoons really are a link to violence!"

**Yes there are really two more cartoons coming out with Wolverine in them. He gets around a lot doesn't he? **

**Coming soon, what fun did the girls have while the boys were hiding? Find out whenever I get around to writing it! Right now I'm gonna go watch cartoons! **


End file.
